dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
