if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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