i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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