You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
