I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
