I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
