Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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