doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
