Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
