She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
being pregnant is like rehab
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Panties = found
Randomize
