He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
