did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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