drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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