I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
