i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
