All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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