You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
