Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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