You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My life is pants optional.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just puked most of my soul out..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
