talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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