Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
