Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
