so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
