can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
