there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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