Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I enjoy the company of your penis
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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