I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
