Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
