Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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