So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
