i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
