everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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