i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
