he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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