Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
