Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
