All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
