It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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