So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
