He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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