Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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