she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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