i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So much Jack, so little girl.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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