love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
