I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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