I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's official drugs can't kill me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
