I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
