I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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