We won't sleep together?
i think my mom watched the whole time
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
