Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
