Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
