More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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