i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
