I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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