i just had sex bonerless
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
