a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
