ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
