Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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