That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
false alarm. still invincible.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
