I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
