Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
