I'm lost and stupid without you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize