I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize