Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
